Fall Off the Wagon and Let It Roll Over You

The sound of fighting filled the small Indian boys ears; the sounds
from the next room usually came with the holidays. Everything would
start out nice and then someone would pull out a bottle of booze.


He knew what that bottle meant; it always came later in the evening.
The laughter was loud, the jokes and later insults would fly,
accusations and hard words made to one another. Then it would grow
quiet and the fighting would start, but maybe not this time.


When you are small and young you want to have a Christmas like you see
in books and on TV with everyone happy, to feel safe, secure and with
no worry. Yet when you live like this there is no place to go, you have
find a place to rest, a corner of the bed, or somewhere in the house
where you just hope nothing will happen, but it always does.


His father got chased out of the house just after Halloween and had not
been home. The little boy started to sell newspapers for a dime each
and got to keep a nickel. His mother worked cleaning rooms and he and
his little sister helped since money was short.


It was near Christmas when he heard the familiar stomping of feet on
the porch and squeak of the screen door. His father was home, they
called him Chili Man, because when he got cold or angry his face went
red. He peeked out at him and saw that he was bringing in wood. No one
spoke to him since he was chased out drunk and arguing months ago. No
one knew where he had gone to. He brought in a bag and put it by the
washbasin. It was quiet all afternoon.


When his Mom got home them two spoke quietly. It was near Christmas Eve
and the boy was worried and prayed there would be no fights this time.
He closed his eyes and wished hard that it would be a "good Christmas".


Times were hard and to avoid staying home he took his little sister
sledding on an inner tube dragging her around in the snow up the hill
and back down. It was cold and they played all afternoon. He saw Chili
Man come to the bottom of the hill and watched him as he started a
small bonfire for everyone there. He could see him from afar and
thought this is how it is supposed to be, to have fun without
that "stuff" around.


He went to the fire to warm up and Chili Man did not say much but added
wood to the fire and then went home. The boy took his sister up the
hill one more time and they went really fast down hill. It was fun, but
they had to go home.


He walked slowly to the small house they rented in the city. It was
next to the forest and they walked by many nice houses. He could see
the Christmas lights and the trees and the families in their living
rooms. How would it be to live like that, to just once have a Christmas
like that.


When they got back to the little house, he saw something he hadn’t seen
there before a wreath on the door with Christmas lights and ornaments
on it and it brightened the place a little bit. He went in and took off
his coat; it was cold and wet and put them by the stove to dry off. He
took off his shoes and looked at the table, supper was almost ready to
eat. He helped his sister with her coat and made sure he put them so
they could get them quickly in case they had to run out of the house
later.


He went to the room where they slept on mattresses put on the floor
they had no bed frames. He stepped into the room and there was a bed,
with a wooden frame and some dresser drawers with a mirror. Usually his
clothes were in boxes all mixed together but they were all in drawers.
He opened the top drawer and found his favorite toys there.


How could this be? He wondered where did it come from; he was surprised
and went to find his mother.


They were there at the table, Chili Man, his mother and sister. She had
a bed and drawers just like him. "Mom, where did the beds come from?"
His mother interrupted him and told him to sit down, he found his
place.


Knock! Knock! The sound came from the door. Chili Man got up and opened
it. The boy could see it was the ones who liked to party, his heart
fell. Chili Man, said, "I can't go with you guys, I quit that stuff,
can't do it any more."


The one with Red Eyes said, "You must be on the wagon", he
laughed, "Why don't you fall off the wagon and let it run over you."
Chili Man said, "No, I am not going anywhere with you anymore, got to
stay home, it's Christmas."


The boy looked at Chili Man with wonder. He said, "Daddy, did you stop
drinking that stuff” His father, Chili Man, turned and looked at him
and said with steady clear eyes, "Yes son, I haven’t had any of the
stuff and I am not going to have it anymore."


The little boy looked at his father studying his face, looking into his
eyes and wanted to see if what he was saying was true.


"I have been in a place to help me stop drinking, and got a job at the
thrift store the last few weeks. I was lucky to get some things for you
and your sister." his father, Chili Man went to the back door and
opened it and then he reached out and brought in a tree, not just any
tree but a Christmas tree, all decorated and set it inside their small
place. He brought out presents, they were all wrapped up and put them
under the tree.


The boys heart leapt for joy, and he turned to go back to see his
mother and sister at the table. It was a simple Christmas just off the
rez, but it was the best one he ever had, because Chili Man from that
day on never made him wish he lived somewhere else anymore. His father
took care of them, all of them from then on.


It was home and Christmas like any child should have. The little boy
was so happy and the next day they all went sledding, the Old Man, his
Mom and his sister and him and it was a good day for such things.


rustywier