Nahgebah...

How do you say Nah--Ge--Bah?

The Ge has a G sound) It was the time of year for joy and thanksgiving, but Ashie was concerned about how to make payments on this months bills, and with Christmas coming there was not enough money to cover the rent even, and there still was the light bill to go.

The kids were looking forward to Christmas but he thought I wish it had already gone by. He was far from home, this native to Four Corners and from time to time he would look to the South at the horizon, beyond that is where home really was, in the nestle of red rocks, cedar trees and dusty roads. He had not been home since his mother had suffered a stroke and the boys, his three brothers and him decided to board up the house.

It was more than a year ago, he got a call that his mother had been found on the floor at the house and was flown from Shiprock to Albuquerque. He drove all night and got there after they had operated on her at the Hospital at the University of New Mexico.

He stayed there with her. that she might know his voice and come back.She just laid there, all her gray hair was cut off. He did not recognize her with her hair all gone. As a boy he watched her comb her hair out, early in the morning. She was careful to pick up all the loose ends and put them some place safe lest they fall into the wrong hands. She took care of her hair and kept it up in the bun all day, tied up traditional style. 

Now she just laid there with no hair and did not move. He stayed as long as he could sleeping in his car in the parking lot and pawning his belt buckle and some silver jewelry to get back home. His boss had let him off and paid him for two extra weeks while he was gone, but since his job as a trucker paid no benefits; he was in debt to his boss and could not visit her anymore.

Nahgebah was put in a long term care nursing home and moved to Phoenix, his brothers and he had decided that was best, because the good hospitals were down there. They boarded up the house and put away all the things in there, but they couldn't really touch the things in her room. Anyway he had a chance to drive a load to Albuquerque just before the holidays and it would be extra pay. He needed the money so he said ok. He told his wife and she wasn't too happy about it.

"What about Christmas, the kids are expecting….", but her voice trailed off because she knew as well they needed the money. She said, “I will think of something.’

Ashie said, “I wish I could give you a better Christmas than this but I have to make this trip.” It is a hard thing when you know that no matter what you do you can’t bring any more money home and this Christmas was going to be a bust. He went in to the kids’ room and touched his three children on the head as they slept. It was still night when he left.

 Ashie got to the truckers' yard and saw the dispatcher, got his paperwork and found a rig with a Cummins diesel. It was noisy but after it warmed up a while it purred like a kitten. He looked around and thought, looks like I am the only one here today. He put it in his gear and started to head out. The dispatcher Old Man Jenkins ran over to him and flagged Ashie down. He stopped.

The old white guy could move pretty good when he wanted to. He asked Ashie, “What is your cell number?” Ashie told him, “I don't have a cell phone. I will have to call you when I stop.” The dispatcher looked at him and did not say anything. Ashiea headed out and drove South looking for the freeway. In a few hours he would be looking for the red rocks of home.

It was the beginning of a new day, the earth was new in many ways and the early light of dawn was just beginning to reach its fingers to the west. He felt his pocket and the nub of deerskin that held yellow powder, corn pollen, Tah-Dah-Deen.

If he had a chance he would like to find some to refill it. He thought about the sunrise and as he did so reached into the small deerskin pouch taking a pinch of the yellow powder and offered a prayer.

"From my chest may the pollen of dawn help me to learn.”

He looked to the western horizon as he entered the freeway.

”From my back may the pollen of yellow evening light help me to learn.” 

He shifted gears the words came...

”From the soles of my feet may the pollen of whirlwind help me tolearn.”

He looked at the dawn in the east as the sky was pink and pale blue.

”From the top of my head reaching toward the sky, toward sunlight and blue birds, pollen help me to learn, so that I may walk and go along this way with it. Let these things I see help me to learn and let the pollen of wind touch my tongue and guide me in the proper way I should go.”

He stretched and sat up straight and breathed in the fresh air of a new day.

”Now restored to youth a little I can go about this day, pollen help me to learn how to walk in beauty this day." He repeated it again as he drove on down the highway.

Old lady Nahgebah was her name; she came into the extended care nursing home in Phoenix. She was on Medicare, long term and she became known as the Old Navajo woman in bed 6B.

Ashie remembered his brother telling him that day she had her stroke they had gone to Gallup and eaten at the All You Can Eat Chinese Place by the Old Walmart. That his mother Nahgebah didn't feel too good and thought it was just a long day. When she got home, she put her things away and went to the door to take a look at the sheep.

Her youngest son had left to go to Newcomb a place about 12 miles away. It was then that she felt strange and fell to the floor. Nahgebah woke up and she was in a strange place, half in shadows and half twilight. In the distance she could see the movement of people or something she couldn’t see them too good and could not reach where they were. She was on a mountain and they were across the valley and did not see her.

Who were these people, she tried to talk to them but they would look at her and say nothing. She watched them and some of the looked like monsters. Ashie drove South through the mountains. The roads were full of families headed to distant places to visit. Some had Christmas presents in the back windows of their cars and the kids would stick their arms out the windows and pump them up and down.

Ashie would reach for the string and the long sound of a diesel horn would bellow out and they would wave. All he could think about were his kids at home, who had woken up and found him gone. He knew they would get and go check the Christmas tree for new presents but there would be just one for each and then they would go to the kitchen for cereal.

Nahgebah thought it was a play that is what it looked like from where she stood. She saw a giant monster talking to a young Navajo woman while she was out gathering plant food from what looked like Lukachukai, a broad valley with a mountain rising up to the East.

This Navajo woman wandered at the foot of the mountain and gathered drop seed plants for soup. The monster came and she hid. The monster went by her and traveled on. She appeared to change shape and she moved to Canyon De Chelly, Spider rock and there she found a place and dwelt in it.

After a time the one who calls himself the Sun went into her place,he was there a long time and then he left. This woman came out and then found a place with dripping water and laid under it. When she did this Nahgebah could see this was Changing Woman. She was witnessing the conception of the twins, the father came and she conceived them. It was to rid the world of these monsters; she could see them in the distance wandering around. So this is how they came to be.

One child conceived with a powerful name, Monster Slayer. When this child was born there was a storm all around the place, there were dark clouds and lightning flashed clockwise starting inthe East then the South, then West and to the North in a clockwise fashion.

When the second child was born, there was just gentle thunder starting from the East. She stood there and watched this, and heard the names of these children, the first born to kill monsters, he was called Monster Slayer and the other for soft gentle dripping water, Child Born for Water. She could see them when they were small and when the monsters came to the place of the mother the boys were hidden. These monsters had heard there was a new force with power born but were not sure where it came from and searched all over for what it was but could not find it.

Ashie drove down through Ute Mountain and could see the spire of Shiprock to the South and felt at home, even with all his worries it felt good to see this place. It was not too far from home. He remembered then that no one was there anymore, just an empty boarded up place. Ashie remembered telling his mother when he as a child, "I will build you a house some day Shima". She would look at him and just laugh andsay, “Ok, we will see.”

He felt bad about the whole thing because he was the eldest son, the one in charge and life did not work out the way he wanted it to be. Now she was a vegetable in a strange place. Nahgebah could see the twin boys grow up in a short time as if by magic and they were strong, and quick. They could see her and she would wave at them and they would wave back. She could not tell how long she had been at this place but she was growing tired of it.

She looked to the East and could see some light and strained her eyes to see beyond it. The Twin boys grew in time at Canyon De Chelly and asked their mother who is sometimes called Spider Woman who their father was, after they asked four times she finally told them the Sun. This was the beginning of their journey and Nahgebah saw the story of it unfold before her eyes. Nahgebah saw, each one, the tests of going to the canyon where men get thrown from the rocks, the place where reeds cut like knives on those that crossed them, the crossing of a river that gets wider when you try to cross it.

She saw how the Wind became their ally and how they had the magic of traveling on a rainbow. She watched these boys grow and Nahgebah could see the light of day becoming better in the East.

Ashie turned off the road South of Shiprock and drove west to the base of the Chuska mountains. He was thinking that somewhere in an office in Reno, a guy was drinking coffee and looking at a computer screen watching a map with a little blip leave the road off the worn trail to Albuquerque. This guy was reaching for the phone.

Ashie smiled and was glad he did not have a cell phone, but the satellite box above his head mounted outside was telling on him,. He turned down that narrow ribbon of road and headed west anyway. An older Navajo woman herding sheep on a nearby hill at Burnham turnoff wondered what a diesel truck was doing way out here just before Christmas. The trading post was closed. This sheepherder woman thought where is that truck going. Ashie waved to her, but she just looked at him and he laughed about it to himself and drove own down the road.

Nahgebah could see the Twins approaching the Sand Dunes where when one walks it swallows you up but she felt the rush of Wind as it wentby her and it lifted them up and over the sand and she laughed to see it. The boys heard her and they looked at her. The Twins went on to the East.

She could see better and the sound of what was gong on outside started to come slowly. Nahgebah could see the Twin boys travel over the mountains, four of them and she could see them clearly. They went over the hill. She closed her eyes and could see them, she knew they were going to see their father at his place, a hogan hidden to the East and that he would test them to see if they really were his sons. She could see this in her mind. The big rig could not go beyond the turn by the trading post, so Ashie parked the big rig there and walked from there to the a little house to East of there.

The trader came out and wondered if maybe he forgot about a delivery there. Ashie just continued walking east waved and pointed to the East and walked on. The trader stood on the steps watching him pass the old Reverend Kay's place and walk toward the Natani's place and disappear into the cedar trees. Ashie could see the road into the place had not been used for a while and the house was still boarded up. He expected to feel at home, but it was like coming to an abandoned place.

No one had been there for some time, the road was little used. He was home but there was nothing there. He looked at the corral and it was empty. He closed his eyes and remembered all the family used to gather and visit; now they were all gone separated like blowing sand. No one was coming here for Christmas anymore. He walked around the place and then walked back to the rig, in four hours he would be in Albuquerque.

 Nahgebah could see that she was in a nursing home but could not talk. She had seen daylight and walked toward it from the place on that strange mountain and found herself in bed. She was weak, and did not know these people; she heard them call her the Old Navajo Woman in6B. She thought is this how it is to be old. Where are my children? Why haven't they come to see me?

 She thought I have to exercise, but did so at night in the quiet of it, moving every so slowly to get her legs and arms moving again. She did not talk to the people around her, but they could she was looking at them and they talked like she wasn't there. When she slept she could see the Twins, Monster Slayer and Born for Water, and she watched them in their travels.

She could see the medicines they carried, their lightning arrows of straight lightning, spotted lightning, and zigag lightning and their armor of flint that covered their heads, body and feet. The Twins would look toward her every now and then, but would not wave because they had outgrown such things. She was stronger now and she made her way to near where they were.

She heard them talking there. Their Father was saying, “This mush inside this basket is powerful, It comes from what was gathered in four directions. It is there and you have eat it a certain way,’ he said,.”If you do this you will be restored. It is from the pollen of what is called restoration, a restoration of youth and in beauty it is done. It will give you strength.”

She watched them as they ate this and after they had left saw the small morsels left behind. She felt she should eat it but then it was too powerful so she skimmed just the dew off it and tasted just a little bit of it and then left.

Ashie got to Albuquerque, the yard was closed, and he crawled over the fence and dropped the paper work in the door slot and unhooked the trailer and left it there. He drove on down to Central Avenue to the Tewa Lodge and got a room. It was almost Christmas. There was a bar not too far off, the Blue Spruce, he saw some Indian people standing outside and thought about going in there but then thought nothing good will come of it and fell asleep watching TV.

He did not call home because he nothing to say. He felt bad he had nothing for his family for Christmas and let his tired body carry him off to sleep…

 Nahgebah felt the hand of a young girl, a teenager. She had blue eyes, she was brushing Nahgebah’s hair as she was in bed and tied it in the back. Her hair had grown back. She could hear music, Bing Crosby playing down the hall.

It was early about breakfast time. Candy Stripers were delivering presents to the old folks there. Nahgebah got up and looked outside and saw the packages of clothes sitting on chairs and she took one back to her room. She moved around, she looked in the mirror and saw her hair was all white, and she dressed herself and looked down the hall.

One of the young girls forgot something in her car and ran out the door to get it, Nahgebah was right behind her. You could not tell she was in her 80’s. She moved quickly and walked to the bus stop. The bus came and it was free ride day. She told the driver she was going to the Phoenix Indian Hospital and needed to get there. The lady driver looked at her with tired eyes handed her a ticket and told her to sit behind her. She said, “I will let you know when you change buses.” Nahgebah sat down and looked around. Ashie waited for the terminal to open and it finally did and he got his papers for his return load. He called in and the dispatcher said he needed to call his sister in Phoenix, but he did not want to talk to her.

She had given him a hard time about putting their mother in a nursing home and had been mad at him for not visiting her. He triedto say he didn't have enough money but it did no good. He did not want to talk to her. He went looking for his load at the address he got and there was a sign on the gate that said, Closed for Christmas. He went back and got the same room for the night; he thought about calling home but it would only make him feel bad so he didn't call. He just watched TV. In the waiting room, an old lady with white hair sat down at the Phoenix Indian Medical Center.

When people came by she spoke to them. One young couple from Nageezi a community East of Shiprock was there and she spoke with them. She asked for a ride home.The young Navajo couple looked at her with suspicion. She told them she got out of the hospital and her family had no phone so she was trying to find a way home, it was on their way.

 After a minute or two the couple told her to come with them. She crawled into the back of their truck camper and they gassed up. They bought her a sandwich and pop and they took off, heading North through Payson and Showlow and kept going North. She fell asleep and she found herself on that strange mountain. Where is Ashie, his sister said on the phone to his wife. “I don't know”, she said, “ he is on the road and hasn't called.” “I need to get a hold of him, Mom took off from the nursing home. She is wandering around Phoenix somewhere. No one knows where she is. Do you know where Ashie is? I need to tell him.” his sister said. “No,” Ashie’s wife said. “All right, I am calling my other brothers and telling them what happened. If Ashie calls tell him what is going on.”

Ashie’s sister called her other brothers, one in Denver, one in Kansas City and one in San Francisco. She told them their mother was missing from the nursing home. All them were calling each other, “Where was Ashie?” The one in Denver decided to drive down and had just bought a new car. He thought about what to do with the old one. It was a good car and he thought to sell it but he decided maybe Ashie could use it and so he sent his son to take it to Ashie's wife and so they left to drive over Ashie’s house to check on them and then they would head South.

Nahgebah got off from the peoples truck she caught a ride with at Burnham Junction where a narrow ribbon of road headed west 16 miles to her home. It was early evening. She started to walk west on the highway to her mountain. She kept walking. No one was on the highway.

Nahgebah thought about the mountain and the places of home that were there in front of her. She thought about her people, of how they were taken to Fort Sumner on the Long Walk in 1864 and suffered there. They were broken hearted. They wanted to go back to the their land so bad, it was their life, it meant everything to them. She remembered when the Navajos heard they were free to go home they were so glad to be going home.

She remembered that when they had traveled and saw Mount Taylor one of the Sacred Mountains. They asked is that our mountain, and they said yes.The old people, the men and woman fell to the ground and wept at the sight of it they were so happy.

Nahgebah thought about her family scattered like the wind and yet she was here just a little ways from home, just right there at the base of the mountain. She remembered being a young girl, herding sheep, taking care of her grand parents and remembered all the places where they had lived. She wept at the sight of her mountain. She reached down and grabbed a handful of dirt, and it became corn pollen. She took it and offered to the wind and she could see from way off the place where her home was she was so glad to see it again.

She had not noticed but the Bitsillies had stopped and looked at her with wide eyes to see her way out there. She got in and she said she was on her way home.They could not believe it was her Nahgebah and she closed the door and they drove off. Ashie picked up his load and got a message to call home. He thought about it and tried to call home, but there was no answer, so he left Albuquerque early that morning.

The dispatcher said something about his wife asking him to go to the old place at Toadlena and to check it. The dispatcher told him, that his brother had said, “It was important Ashie go by there. They would meet him there. Ashie thought I wonder what happened. He had a worried look on his face and left heading down the road to Gallup his mind full of questions. He got to the Giant Truck Stop at Continental Divide and called home. There was no answer so he gassed up and headed west.

He got to Gallup and drove north. He thought to himself, I hope no one is hurt or something worse. He almost drove by the turnoff without turning. He thought I better head up the rond wait for them there. His mind full of questions. He pulled off the road and headed west. He drove up to the trading post and parked the rig got out and started to walk down through the cedars. He had walked this path many times as he grew up and knew Every rock and tree.

Even though times were hard he felt refreshed at being here where he was born in this land of His youth. He thought about how life had changed and now he Lived so far away since there were no jobs here. He was lost In this thoughts. It was then he could smell smoke from a pinon tree and it was from up ahead. When he stepped into the clearing where there place was he saw there were a lot of cars and trucks parked there. The house was open.

He could smell coffee and the boards covering the windows were all off. Just a few days ago this place was empty, no one was here. He walked to the screen door and could hear there was talking going on inside. Maaiis-Coyotes! he thought to himself, scavengers had moved into the house and were taking it over. Something was going on. Who is in there?

You leave something and Maaiis, coyotes move in and take it over. He thought about knocking but just walked in. He opened the door and there was the trader, and Rev. K, and the Bitsillies, and the old folks of the Upshaws, Belones, Deals, Jumbos and Tauglechees and some their grown children were in the front room and the table was covered with food. Ashie stood there and they all looked at him. He did not know what to say.

Then he heard a voice from the other room, it sounded like his wife. She said to Ashie,“Come Here!” What is this? What is she doing here. He stepped toward the sound of her voice and in the next room the beds were set up and a table, and his wife was there and his three kids. They were all giggling. There was Christmas tree, a makeshift decorated tree full of presents underneath. He was so surprised.

 There in front of him sat a woman with white hair, her back was all he could see. She had long white hair, tied up in the traditional way. She turned to him and it was his mother, Nahgebah. “Shima – My Mom!” He reached out and took her in his arms. How could it be. He just stood there and held her. They did not say anything, they couldn't, he just was so surprised and they all wept.

 In life what is as important is family. This is what makes us travel so far from early morning to late night, enduring hardship, hunger and some pain but the thought of home and all them there restores us.. Is there anything better than this? Nothing else matters, all else vanishes like a mist.

 He stood there and cried for a long while. Oh, Shima, my mother. It is a home again, and all those that were there laughed cuz it was a miracle in this out of the way place. In the Navajo way of saying it, she had made the journey home but in doing so she had caused her children to "run after her", SHI'KA' ANAJAH', That is what the word means word for word as in my children they are running along after me. It also has a double meaning it is a way of saying my children they are running to help me. but in running after her they in turn helped each other to get back home, to be together as a family.

In the quiet of the day mothers and fathers turn their thoughts to their children, what are they doing? Are they living right, are they helping each other. In helping another, like running after them to help they are in turn running to help themselves. That is what the translation means. a mother, a father prays that their children will continue to run after them and each other in learning about life and working together when they need help. 

Nahgebah in getting home she was causing her children to run after her and actually chasing after her but in doing so her children they had to run after each other to help one another. In doing so they had all followed her home and it was a joyous Christmas. So it goes the story of the old woman Nahgebah.

tustywire